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Discipling the Family

Pastor Tan Chi

Pastor Peter Tanchi, CCF


(I typed the subject wrongly. The auto-correct changed it to “disciplining the family”. Son spotted and told me it’s wrong. Ha ha.)

The people served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had seen all the great things the Lord had done for Israel. Judg 2:7

10 After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel. 11 Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord and served the Baals.

Pastor Peter told us his security is in God

Today, he wanted to share about the importance of discipling the family.

The message to day applies to anyone, whether married, single, children who stay with family or otherwise. How we relate to the family is the same as how we relate to others.

We read in Judges 2 an amazing account of the Israel.

What are we stewards (manager) of? We are managers, not owners. For example, we are not the owners of our lives, money, etc. When we die, we cannot bring any money with us. We are managers of our family,talents, etc. We are a steward of our influence. All of us have influence. God has place us in a company or a school to influence others.

How can we use our influence properly. Pastor Peter showed us a few flags with cross, e.g. England, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Switzerland, Australia, and Finland.

Everybody wants to change the world. One old man waned to change the world. It was too hard. He decided to change on the country. Still too hard. Change target to city. Too hard. Family only? Still too hard. He decided to change only himself first.

“The light that shines farthest shines brightest at home.” ~C.T. Studd

Why is commandment good?

These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you. Det 6:1-3

This is Moses’ summary of all his sermons. When God gives us a commandment, it is always for our good. This passage is partially repeated in Eph 4.

How do we do it?

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

The positions mentioned include sitting, walking, lying down and getting up. It covers all positions. Discipling is not just done in church.

Discipleship begins at home

Intentionally Model

Children copy us either positively or negatively. We don’t have to tell them to copy us. They will copy us. Values are modeled and caught, not taught.A simple act can teach our children character and integrity. Good values is more valuable than money. Children are always watching us and copying us. Learn to be joyful. Apologize to one another when required. Don’t hold dear the material things in the world. Be redemptive in corrections. One the best thing to model is intimacy with God.

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. 1 Cor 11:1

Modeling is not being perfect but being authentic. If we make a mistake, admit it. Can we honestly tell people to follow us as we follow God?

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.1 Tim 4:12

Be intentional in modeling. Many parents come to Christ because of what they see in their children. People don’t see Jesus. They see us,

Intentionally Build Relationship

Do not be deceived.Bad company corrupts good morals. 1 Cor 15:33

Peer pressure is great. How is our relationship with our children? The relationship must be so think that peer can only be the second influence.  There are not many opportunity for the father to be with the son when he is crying.

When the children is young, we can use the power of intimidation. Don’t use force, money or intimidation. Be a good model when we disciple people. Ask questions. Ask how we can improve. The family knows how we can improve but they don’t tell because they afraid we will react. Just ask for 2. Ask for forgiveness.

We court our spouse. Do we court our children? When was the time that we discovered our children fell in love with us?

Young people need to know their parents love them. They want the best for them in their marriage. We need to build relationship and trust. If there is no relationship, the children won’t come to the parents when they need help and if they do they won’t listen.

Connect them to God

Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. Jn 17:3

“What enters your mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you.” ~A.W. Tozer

Everyone of us is a theologian. We are either a good theologian or a bad theologian. If we have a twisted image of God, we will not be able to disciple our children correctly.

We need the Lord. We intentionally introduce our savior to our children.

We are all busy. We will not have time until we make time. We will not have time until we set priorities. Time is a function of priority. Priority is a function of value. If we don’t value God or the Bible, we will not have time for God or the Bible.

When we are a child of God, we know who we are. God’s spirit living in us protects us. We don’t have pressure to serve. We serve because we love Jesus.

Be patient with our children, don’t react.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. Rom 8:28

Pastor Peter’s son, Paul was the captain of the basketball team in the university. As part of the initiation, he was required to be drunk. He didn’t do it. His security is in Christ, not in the acceptance of his friends.

There are many things we can teach our children. These are the essentials.

  1. God is so great
  2. God knows everything, he knows what is best.
  3. God love them and wants the best for our children.

When our children face problems, will they be able to handle it? We don’t judge God by the circumstances. Instead, we judge the situation by the view of God.

(Pastor Peter and Deonna really lived up to the standard of nothing to hide, nothing to prove and nothing to fear.)

At the end of the day, if we don’t connect people to God, there is no foundation. The pain is real. But the grace of God can transform something bad to something good, provided we trust him. Our faith is not dependent on emotion. Our faith is anchored on the truth that Jesus died and rose again Jesus died and rose again. It is a historical event.

I say unequivocally the evidence for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ is so overwhelming that it compels acceptance by proof which leaves absolutely no room for doubt. ~Lionel Luckhoo

The resurrection is t-one of the best documented events in the history of man.” ~Simon Greenleaf

Categories: Discipleship, dumcMy, family, Sermon
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